What should I be Wearing, now I'm over 35? LINK UP

Not this old chestnut again!
Are women really still feeling the pressure to conform to some made-up rule book?

I had a 10-second conversation with someone today that got me thinking.
I wish we could have talked more but there was no time.
How annoying!

The gist of the conversation went like this...

A: "I heard you have a fashion blog, that's great!"
Me: "Oh, thank you... yes I do."
A: "I should have a look at it because I'm trying to figure out what my style should be."
"I normally like short skirts but I feel like I need to get something longer... my son is 16 and I (he) thinks I'm getting too old for that kind of thing."
Me: "Oh, really?... I don't agree with that at all!"
"We need more time to talk!!"

We didn't get another chance to chat and I was left with a whole list of things I wished I could have said.
The thought of someone feeling they need to change who they are and what they like to wear upsets me.

Anyone one who visits Fake Fabulous will know I'm completely against age-appropriate clothing... see this post about not being ready to be frumpy.
We've all heard enough about this topic, that's for sure.

But I'm also dead against any kind of peer (or family based) pressure to dress a certain way.
Even if it's not intended.

My friends would happily comment on my outfits (goodness knows there have been some clangers!) but they also know I would just as happily ignore their opinions.
My husband comments from time to time... safe in the knowledge that his comments have Zero to No influence on my choice of clothes, or how to wear them.

My children say nothing...
Except sometimes my 13-year-old tells me I'm the most embarrassing mum on the planet.
{Along with the Mums of most 13-year-olds out there!}

My son (who is now 19) has never commented but I think he secretly likes the fact his mum has a blog and sometimes wears a splash of colour!

I understand this women's plight.
At 38-40 I had a serious style wobble... thinking it was maybe time to make a few changes.
To act more grown up.
To dress like a real woman.

I even got rid of some old favourites that I (stupidly) thought were no longer appropriate.
What a numpty!!!

How I wish I could go back and have a word with my 38-year-old self.
I'd still be the owner of a pair of lime green suede spray-on trousers... sigh.
Hindsight is wonderful.

The moral of this story?

Don't EVER change who YOU are.
Don't EVER stop wearing what you love and being who you want to be.
And never ever EVER get rid of things you love just because you think you should.
Stick two fingers up to that rule book!

Read more about this topic...

• Is it time for your Style to Grow up?
• Too old for cropped tops and skinny jeans?
• How to get out of a style RUT.
• Dressing Well, why it matters!
• Can grown-up women wear Dungarees?
• When legs get old... 7 steps to great legs (Get the minis out, ladies!)

And there are LOADS more posts like these at Fake Fabulous... just search for any keyword and I'm bound to have had something to say about it!

What words of stylish wisdom would you give to someone having a style wobble?
I'd love to hear them!

Last week Carrie's statement leather top caught my eye and made me feel a pang of serious style envy.
This look makes me smile despite not being a big fan of black, especially all-black outfits (on me).
It's simple, stylish and with just enough edge.
Fabulous.

See her original post HERE.

Now it's your turn...

An InLinkz Link-up

Spring Outfit Formula | Floral Dress & White Trainers

Spring-time floral outfit?
Wowee... that's a new one, isn't it?!

An outfit like this one is a no-brainer.
Perfect for a cool spring day.

Denim Dress and Red | Classic Casual Style over 40

This is such a classic look.
No groundbreaking silhouettes or challenging colour combinations.
Just an easy outfit, perfect for any casual occasion.

It's nice to move away from jeans from time to time, isn't it?

This dress and cropped top combination feels like a slightly more interesting version of jeans and a tee.

It feels girly but more grown up!
A contradiction in style terms.

So comfortable and easy... my kind of dressing!

Some simple, pared back accessories finished things off perfectly.
{Although I can barely fit anything in this tiny bag!!}

Without jeans, what's your idea of a classic casual look?
Chinos?
A Denim Skirt?
Athleisure?

Please share in the comments... I'd love to hear!

DRESS: Whistles (old)... similar

SHOES: Clarks Originals (old)... these are fab!

BAG: Charity Shopped... this one is gorgeous
TOP: Zara (old)... try this
NECKLACE: Oliver Bonas (past seasons)... this one is amazing and on sale!

GET THE LOOK

Preparing for the Summer Blog Slump #fakeituntilyoumakeit LINK UP

Yay!
The warmer weather is on its way.

Yesterday the sun was out (in my town) and plenty of day-glow Scottish skin was on show.

{It was only 14 degrees but we're a tough bunch and all rays count!}

Unfortunately, for any bloggers out there, this also means the summer blogging slump is on its way too.

The sun comes out and everyone that was visiting your blog is now visiting the park, the beach or the back garden.
Blog page visits can seriously suffer.

It's a real phenomenon that can leave some bloggers feeling discouraged... especially if your blog is on the smaller end of the spectrum.
The summer slump can also affect the earning power of bloggers who rely on their blogs as a source of income.
Page visits can bottom out and you can be left wondering what's going on.

Don't despair!
It's perfectly normal and happens to all of us... even the HUGE bloggers.

Just find some useful blog housekeeping jobs to do OR even have a blogging break... Gasp!!
What????

A break from blogging might seem like a step too far BUT if you're feeling discouraged (and frustrated) it might be just what you (and your blog) needs.

If you press pause on your blog the world won't stop turning and a blogging break might be just the ticket to get new creative ideas flowing.
You can come back fighting fit and raring to go!

{Find out 3 useful things to do during the summer slump HERE.}

Do you notice a drop in page views at certain times of the year?
Do you have any (big or small) blog housekeeping jobs to do this year?

Please share them in the comments.
I'd love to hear what you've got in the pipeline.

Now it's over to you...

Last week Linda's Chocolate Cheesecake made my belly rumble.
Two of my great (food related) loves combined!
Yum.
See her delicious recipe HERE.

LET'S GET CONNECTED!

An InLinkz Link-up

Amazing Women | Over 50 & Fitter than Ever

Forget about Instagram perfection, filtered fakery and surgical enhancement...
We need some real-life relatable inspiration!

I've never written a post like this before, but I've been very keen to start a regular 'Health & Fitness' section at Fake Fabulous.

I love to follow fitness bloggers (and Instagrammers) BUT they are often in their 20's and are so 'perfect' I just can't relate to them, or their lifestyle.

I NEED fitness inspiration from someone like me, but I don't know where to find it!
Are you in the same boat?

It's SO important to stay active as we get older, isn't it?

We all need to work much harder to ward off those aches and pains and keep ourselves Fit.
Fit = Being able to wear heels, and have fun!

I'm no fitness expert (by any stretch of the imagination) but I still love to share as many tips and tricks with you as I can.

The only way I'm going to find out more about fitness (over 40) and share the good stuff with you, is to ask for some 'expert' help.

{Read my previous fitness posts HERE...including 3 fitness do's and 3 surprising don'ts.}

Today I want to introduce you to someone.
A REAL Health and Fitness inspiration.
No filter required!

How to Wear What YOU Want to a Wedding | No Dress or Heels Required!

There's no escaping the fact that weddings can cause stress levels to skyrocket.
There are (what feels like) a thousand things to organise and that's just for the guests!

If you're the Bride, Groom, Mother of the Bride/Groom...
Stand clear.
Heads might explode!

The last thing you need at this stressful time is a style crisis.

However, the 'outfit' can sometimes cause a lot of worry and anxiety.
Especially if you're one of the main wedding party.
All eyes are on you, and the pressure is high to get it right.

If you are a mature bride then things can get really tricky.
No wonder there are often tears and tantrums!

Any women can feel pressured to conform to certain style rules when it comes to certain occasions, especially those of us that are over 40.

Even if your heart tells you to do your own thing, the pressure can be so intense that convention eventually wins.
Let's face it, no one wants to upset anyone, look inappropriate, like mutton dressed as lamb, or (worse in my opinion) frumpy.

Just look up "What to Wear to a Wedding" and you'll be bombarded with a mind-boggling number of things NOT to do!

Styling for the 'Mother of the Bride' is a great example of what people expect you to be wearing...

"Pay attention! 

You MUST follow these rules ladies... 

Out comes the shift dress, matching bolero jacket and plume-like fascinator. 

Add killer (literally) heels and a matching bag. 

The hair gets an industrial strength blow dry, or a twee up-do... half a can of hairspray to finish thank you! 

Makeup is 'professionally' applied (possibly with a trowl) and there's maybe even a fence-paint-style spray tan, and 3 feet acrylic nails tips!? 

Better get the cheque book out girls... or organise a bank loan!"

BUT, what if none of that is YOU.

What if the thought of conforming to the traditional 'Wedding Clone' brings you out in a cold sweat?

What if you feel awkward in a dress?
Or, you feel silly in a bolero jacket?
What if fascinators leave you confused?

What if high heels give you the fear, and you totter around in them like a newborn calf.
What if you can't face the agony of spending hours in shapewear?

Don't worry!

You CAN wear what you want and not upset the conventional apple cart.

{Disclaimer: You'll probably upset someone BUT you can't please everyone, so why sweat it?}

Yes, it's a Cropped Top over 40! Light Relief at the #fakeittilyoumakeit LINK UP

Cropped tops over 40?

Some say "No".
I say...

YES!
(No surprise there.)

What's Wrong with Dungarees and Short Hair?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been living in my dungarees over the past few days.
They're the perfect 'loungewear' but still cool enough to be seen out in public.

{Unlike those awful saggy joggers that are lurking in some of our wardrobes... you know what I'm talking about!}

How to Spot a Liar | #fakeituntilyoumakeit LINK Up

I'm no good at lying.
Of course, I give it a go now and again but anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a face like an open book.
I'm pathetic at poker, liar dice and anything that requires a 'bluffing' face.

If you ask me a question I'll blurt out the truth before my brain switches on.
Friends only ask my opinion when they really want it.

Yesterday, for example, the instructor at the gym looked at me and asked:

 "Have I got a sweaty bum?" 

(A strange question but she was squatting with her back to me at the time!)

I automatically said "Yes"... because she did!
BUT, a girl turned to look at me in horror and said:

" No, of course you havent!!" shaking her head in my direction.

Oops...
Someone was not impressed with my answer!

Sometimes when I'm asked a question by someone who doesn't know me I try (really hard) to stay silent but, unfortunately, the answer is always written all over my face.
I just can't hide the truth.

I'm not saying I'm an angel, I've told some major lies in my time (and even got away with some of them) but as I've gotten older I don't even bother.
The truth is always easier and I'm always happy to face the consequences of my actions!

I think that it's pretty easy to spot a liar.
{And, that's not because there'll be smoke coming out of their pants! 🔥}

I've been on the receiving end of plenty of lies over the years.
Some more serious than others, but they've all been a lesson in one way or another.
Experience is a wonderful asset when it comes to spotting a potential deceiver.

I must say, at this point, that sometimes we WANT to believe the lies we are told.
Sometimes we choose to ignore the signs of a lie and pretend the falsehood is real.
If we ignore the lie the truth feels like it isn't happening.
If you've got your head buried in the sand these tricks are worth a jot!

BUT... if you're serious about wanting to get to the truth here's how to spot a liar...

HOW TO SPOT A LIAR

Even the most well-practised liars, fibbers and falsifiers have 'tells' (or personal quirks) that give the game away.

They're easy enough to pick up, and simple to catch out.
To root out a deception, just follow these steps...

Ask your question.
Read the response... check for the tell-tale signs of a liar (below).
Stay calm.
Ask again... and again, if necessary.
The truth will out!

The 3 Behavioural 'Tells' of a Liar

1. Pausing too Long

Unless your speaking to someone who has problems with social interactions, or you're asking about a situation from the past, pausing is an obvious sign of a liar forming a lie.
Anyone with nothing to hide will immediately answer.
An honest reaction requires no thought.

2. Giving Vague/Waffling Answers 

Long-winded waffling answers are a sure sign of a lie.
As is trying to laugh the situation off, or being overly "sympathetic".
In fact, any over-acting should be seen as suspicious.

Over-egging the pudding is never necessary.
The truth is always so much more simple to share, and requires no waffle!

3. Answering your Question with Another Question.

This can seem sympathetic and sweet, or defensive and hostile, depending on how it's done.
BUT... don't fall for it!

Whatever you do don't start answering the (alleged) liar's questions, bring it back to your question by saying:

"I'll be happy to answer that when you answer my question"

If these behaviours need back up, try looking for the following physical signs...

6 Physical Symptoms of a Liar

Even the most ruthless and seasoned tricksters show some of these physical signs.
Well practised liars may think they can pull the wool over our eyes BUT, with practice, you'll be able to sniff them out with ease.

1. Sweating

Beads of sweat on the top lip or forehead are a dead giveaway!
Any liar worth his salt can keep his cool so this might not happen, but don't worry, there are plenty more signs to look out for...

2. Coughing/Fake Coughing

Unless the person normally has a cough or course!

3. Eyes Flicking Side to Side, Excessive Blinking or Looking at the Floor

Why can't they look you in the eye?
Hmmm.. I wonder!

4. Excessive Gaze-Holding

A more cock-sure liar will know that a lack of eye-contact is a dead giveaway so they'll overcompensate by looking you straight in the eye and holding your gaze.
They think they have you fooled!

If this eye contact seems slightly uncomfortable, awkward or just different to normal.. smell a rat!

5. Covering the Mouth with a Hand/Fingers in the Mouth/Face Scratching or Touching the Ears

Any pulling, poking and rubbing of the face is a sure sign something fishy is going on.
Unless the person has just been attacked by a swarm of bees of course!

6. Pulling a Wierd Asymmetric Expression

This is the "tell" all of my family have!
The asymmetric face-pull.
I find it hilarious.

You'll know it when you see it in other people.
The mouth goes weird.
The face looks odd.
Half grimace... or is it wind??

Liar liar pants on fire!!
This one only really works with children... or idiots!

Why not have fun with a friend and try deliberately lying to each other?
You can see if you can spot any of these "tells"?
I'd love to hear about it!

Of course, this "Guide to Spotting a Liar" is just a bit of fun BUT if you have any tips and tricks to spot an un-truth (or a porky-pie) please share it in the comments!

Last Week Nancy caught my eye with her leopard skirt and patent boots... no word of a lie there!

It's a simple look, but full of attitude and feminine S-A-S-S!
Fabulous.
See her full post HERE.

An InLinkz Link-up

Me? Sarcastic? Never! | Graphic Culottes & Slogan Tee, over 40

I'm feeling feisty today!
This outfit is acting like the stripes on a wasp... a warning to anyone who thinks they can take me on.

Back off.
Don't even think about it.
The Sass-O-Meter is off the scale.

(Pst... It's all just a big attitude bluff, but no one knows that apart from you!)

Outfits like this one are a great way to appear confident and in control.
A mixture of patterns, textures and prints.
A little bit of humour.
A little bit of attitude.
A lot of fun!

Stop Weight Shaming | Why it's Okay to Want to Gain Weight as Well as Lose it

It's very wet (and bitterly cold) today so fashion photos are out of the picture (pardon the pun) and cosy joggers are the order of the day!

However, I've turned this to my advantage because I've got the chance to make a start on a new project that's been neglected.

I had planned to start a "Health and Fitness" series a while back, and today's weather is the perfect opportunity to make a start!


I'm going to go straight in and tell you a secret...

Why I'll Never "Make it Big" as a Blogger

While having a catch-up with my favourite blogs, I began to think about the women behind these blogs and what makes them (and their blog) a success.

Success is, of course, a subjective thing.
One person's idea of a successful blog may involve a small circle of loyal readers who regularly interact with the content.

Another person's idea of success may be massive numbers of followers on social resulting in oodles of likes, comments and click-throughs.

Success could also mean making money from your blog, whether that's just extra shoe money, a comfortable living or the mega-bucks!

Some people may strive for all three, and why not?!

Some blogs are pretty HUGE but don't monetise in any way.
Others are fairly modest in size but manage to be a nice little earner.

Success comes in so many forms.

What makes a blog successful?

What makes a blog, or any other business venture, a success?
It's Simple.
Hard work.

Every successful blogger (and small business owner) works their butt off.
Only the one-in-a-million-super-lucky make it big by pure chance.
Successful bloggers work all-day, every day.
There's no let-up.

If bloggers are not writing, they're editing.
If they're not editing, they're replying to emails and comments.
If they're not checking emails they're keeping on top of social media.
It's non-stop.

Why I'll never make it 'BIG'

1. I say "No, thank you" too often.

If a brand, product or service doesn't float my boat I simply can't bring myself to work with that company.
I do think about what you (as my reader) might be interested in BUT if it really doesn't appeal to me I just can't do it.
No matter how big the carrot they dangle!

Skin care and beauty treatments/products are the items I knock-back the most... simply because (as a scientist) I don't really believe in any of the hype... read this post about ageing and why expensive lotions and potions are just a con!

I recently turned down an offer of visits to a salon for a series of (expensive) treatments that just made me laugh out loud.
I couldn't promote something I knew was a load of baloney.
Putting my name to a procedure that prays on people's insecurities doesn't sit well with me.

I have tried to compromise in the past, and make the best of a collaboration, but I felt like I was cheating you as my reader.
It was an awful feeling of shame.
I don't want to feel like that again.

I still have an open mind, but if my gut says "Nope!" then that's going to be that!

Find out how to say "No" as politely as possible... HERE.

2. I give anything and everything away.

I drive my husband nuts because I tend to give all kinds of things away.
Anything we don't need just gets passed on to friends or donated.

I've always been a person who passes things on to others.
Everything from my wedding dress to baby equipment, to clothes, to furniture.

It's must be in my genes!

When they were newly married my Grandpa gave away the chairs that came with my Nan's new kitchen table (the set they'd been saving up for 2 years to buy!) because a woman on their street had nothing in her house to sit on.
This poor lady's husband was an alcoholic and used to spend all his wages on beer then come home and beat her.
Her house was bare, and she often had nothing for dinner (when I was little I remember my Nan taking food into her on occasion).
My Grandpa was just doing the right thing and my Nan couldn't argue!
The funny thing is that they never bought replacement chairs, and always had a mixture of old secondhand ones.
They were good people for sure!

Now, any savvy business-minded person would tell you to sell any items you don't want/need and never give anything away that could provide a profit.
It makes perfect sense.

Unfortunately, I'm just not cut from that cloth.

I did attempt to sell a few things on eBay a while back but decided to pull out after an unfortunate incident... see the post on my eBay experience HERE.
I'm never going to make my fortune that way so I'll stick to being more like my Grandpa!

3. I'm far too opinionated.

I've got a voice and I feel like I've earned the right to use it.
I'm never going to be someone who is diplomatic, sycophantic or even particularly agreeable.
It's just not in my nature.
If I don't like something I find it SO hard not to just blurt "That's a load of crap!".
Saying nothing is the ONLY answer.

I think diplomacy is a skill most successful bloggers possess and I certainly don't.
I'd love to be more gentle, measured and diplomatic.
BUT...
I just can't sit back and let things happen.
If I feel strongly I have to act and get my tuppence worth in!

So, I've resigned myself to never 'making it big' as a blogger.
I'm okay with that.
In fact, I'm more than happy to accept the fact I'll never be rich either.
Even if Fake Fabulous did hit the big time I'd end up giving everything away anyway.
My Grandpa would be proud!

Of course, you know this post is meant to be a bit of fun.
I still love blogging.
I'm not going to stop anytime soon (fortune or no fortune!) and rest assured if I come across a brand, product or service that I think you will love I will be telling you all about it!


What's your idea of success?
I'd love to hear it!

Now over to you.

Last week something very different caught my eye...
How to dye Easter eggs naturally by Lina at Sew Historically.
What a great idea for the crafty-minded people who like a challenge.
Her methods are so interesting and the outcome is beautiful!

An InLinkz Link-up