I've not got a jealous bone in my body.
I'm not boasting or being smart about it.
It's just a statement of fact.
I sometimes feign envy, for fun, but to be honest I'm not even sure I'm doing it right!
My husband thinks my lack of envy and jealousy is because I'm confident in who (and what) I am, but I'm not so sure he's right about that!
I often don't feel very confident.
{But do a good job of faking confidence on a regular basis!}
It's true though that I never feel jealous.
I never feel envy.
Even if I see a beautiful woman with the perfect figure.
Even when I hear about the huge successes of other bloggers I'm supposed to consider my "competition".
{Which is ironic in itself as I don't consider anyone my competition}
Even when I see other women wearing Chanel, Erdem and Valentino... or other brand's I'd love to own.
Even when I see a very attractive woman flirting with my husband.
Even when I caught my (ex)husband red-handed having an affair.
Nothing makes me feel jealous.
I'm not even sure I know how it feels.
I'm reminded of a moment a few years ago...
I was at a wedding a couple of years ago with a few work colleagues when the wife of one of the men I work beside walked in.She was breathtakingly beautiful.
As I looked around the room I saw the involuntary disgust on the faces of many of the women present.
Envy.
Jealousy.
Even hatred.
I didn't understand.
What was going on?
I was desperate for her to come to sit next to me!
I even shuffled up and shared half of my seat just to be near her.
When I see a beautiful woman (or man) I just want to talk to them, to be near them.
I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's just because I love to be around beautiful things?
The bottom line is...
Someone else's beauty or success does not affect me.I'm still the same person regardless of who they are or what they've done... or who I'm with.
My lack of jealousy is not because of great confidence or self-assuredness.
I simply don't see the point of it.
Why waste time on jealousy, or anything you can do nothing about?
Why bother?
Maybe I'm lucky but here are my top tips for seeing off that green-eyed monster...
3 Simple Ways NOT to be Jealous
1. Be grateful
Instead of worrying about what you don't have, be grateful for what you do have.I (like many people) have been through some pretty difficult times over the years.
Suffering from physical and emotional abuse.
Wondering if I could keep a roof over me, and my child's, head.
Having no money and nothing for dinner.
Enduring (and surviving) real hardship focuses the mind, and nothing is ever as much of a problem from then on.
Hardship certainly offers perspective!
If you've never experienced hardship then I'm really happy for you.
I hope you never do!
But, you can still 'use' the hardship of others to help you gain perspective for a moment.
Try imagining life as...
An abused woman, or child.
A homeless person, living on the street.
Someone hungry and unable to feed their children.
Try putting yourself (mentally) in their shoes for a moment.
Really focus on it.
How do you feel?
Be grateful for what you have, and what you don't have to endure.
Donate to charity.
Your life (and mental wellbeing) will be better for it.
2. Don't assume
This is a HUGE one!I know for a fact that just because someone appears "perfect" doesn't necessarily mean it is the truth.
Think of Facebook for example.
My friend calls it "Stepford families" and she hits the nail on the head.
Just because someone gives the impression of a perfect family life, attentive husband and perfectly behaved children doesn't make it true.
In fact, if this Stepford life is all over social media then it's probably NOT true!
Ditto perfect figures and faces.
Photoshopping.
Filters.
Clever angles.
All is NEVER what it seems.
{Find out why I'll NEVER photoshop my image HERE}
3. Know your limitations and accept them
This is an easy one.You have to accept yourself.
I know my limitations.
My weaknesses.
My flaws.
AND... I'm okay with that.
I'm not going to big myself up or put myself down.
I am what I am.
We all try to be the best we can be.
But there comes a time when we need to accept that certain things are beyond our reach.
I'm never going to have the perfect figure, no matter how long I spend at the gym.
My hair is always doing its own thing regardless of products.
My eyes are small, I have eye bags and dark circles, my jaw is square and my nose is pointy.
I've always got a haphazard feel to every outfit I wear, and everything I do.
I'm easily distracted.
I can seem aloof and detached.
I can be unfocused and chaotic.
I can be clumsy and slap-dash.
I have been known to hurt people's feeling with my frankness... diplomacy is certainly not my thing.
BUT...
I'm honest.
I can't lie.
I'm no sycophant!
{Don't ask me questions you don't want an honest answer too}
I won't get jealous of your success.
If you're my friend I'll protect you, support you, cheer your success, value you, big you up at every opportunity, defend you and love you.
Do me wrong and I'll never forget it.
I'm far from perfect but I'm okay with that.
That's the secret to never feeling jealous.
Be content with all you are and all you have.
You have it all and you don't even realise!
Last week the stunningly beautiful Vale caught my eye with her Athleisure look.
Vale is everything I should be jealous of...
A figure to die for... I mean seriously stunning.
A beautiful face.
A hugely successful blog.
The most amazing collection of designer clothes handbags and.... shoes!
Her shoe collection is something else.
I swoon!!
BUT, I feel none of that.
I just feel grateful that she chooses to share her posts on my blog, and occasionally comments on my posts.
I'm grateful to have found her blog and to be able to admire her work.
I am grateful to be inspired by her every week.
She is a beautiful and successful lady and you know what?
I'm happy for her!
Check out her original post HERE.