Oh.... this is a great question, isn't it?
The other day I received a DM on social media from a woman who made handbags.
She was complimenting me on my appearance (and blog) and I thanked her and asked her to send me an email.
I assumed she wanted to promote her business and had a collaboration proposal.
{I NEVER do business via DMs on Insatgram/Twitter/ Facebook. Only via email.}
Anyway.
She did email me.... and my jaw dropped.
Her email was entitled "Narcissist."
Hmmm.
Not a great start eh?
I was (initially) confused.
I opened the email and, to cut a long story short, the gist was:
"I don't know why on earth you wanted me to email you.
Sure, I think you're pretty and I like your blog BUT you obviously just need the attention and have some issues.
Anyway, here I am."
Say WHAT!?
{There was more...hmmm... but I'll spare you the details.}
Yeah.
That left me pondering for a moment.
I had a whole host of knee-jerk responses ranging from common-as-muck swear words to sarcasm.
But I didn't do either of those things.
Despite this aggressive title and hurtful, judgemental content I replied with:
"I'm so sorry there was some confusion here.
I assumed you wanted to promote your handbag business and was looking to collaborate.
I don't do business via social media.
I normally charge for sponsored content but would normally be happy to help promote a small business free of charge.
Sorry for the confusion and your wasted time.
Have a great week!"
My tongue was held.
I felt like I'd kept my dignity (just).
However, inside I felt a little rattled.
Did I feel hurt?
I'm not sure.
Offended?
Maybe a little.
I certainly felt judged.
I know that we all judge (and are judged ourselves) everyday BUT it felt weird seeing it in (passive-aggressive) print.
{Needless to say, she didn't reply.}
This person knows NOTHING about me yet decided that because I have a blog that I must think I'm beautiful and brilliant and the world revolves around me.
Why?
After a little thought, I realised that this opinion of me actually has no reflection on who I am.
It felt pretty personal but it's not personal at all.
The accuser is the one with the problem.
The 'issue' is theirs.
They were trying to reflect their problems onto me.
They made me think a little but ultimately they failed.
Maybe some bloggers are slightly weird?
I know I am in plenty of different ways!
Maybe some even need the attention a blog brings?
Maybe online love gives a few that sense of validation and belonging?
I don't know.
More importantly, I don't care!
It doesn't matter a jot what motivates my favourite bloggers.
All I know, or care about, is that I like their content.
That's all.
Personally, I don't share my family or my social life online.
I DO like to get up close and personal with my girl chat on my blog BUT you won't get an in-depth tour of my house/closet.
So, you might ask ...
"Why on earth do you post pictures of yourself on the internet and share images of your outfits?"
"Do you love looking at pictures of yourself?"
"Do you think you're a beautiful woman?"
"Do you consider yourself Super-Stylish?"
The answers are easy.
First of all, I KNOW I'm not any more (or less) beautiful than the next woman.
I think we're all on a par there!
Women are amazing.
I'm also not particularly stylish.
I like my own style (obviously!) but I don't think I'm more stylish than the next blogger you visit.
(In fact, I know I've worn some clangers...but I've loved them anyway!)
I don't particularly like pictures of myself either.
90% of my photos involve me in a ridiculous pose or with a disastrous facial expression.
(That's why I need about 200 photos taken per outfit, just to get ONE where I'm not looking like a super-goofball!)
I'm also well aware of my flaws and I embrace them.
There is no name you can call me, or flaw you point out, that I haven't thought of myself or heard before.
(Apart from the word narcissist. That came as a surprise!!)
I'm grateful for my (able) body.
I'm grateful that I have confidence in my personal style.
I'm grateful that I'm comfortable with my ageing face.
I don't consider myself a narcissist...
Narcissist:
a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
"narcissists who think the world revolves around them"
I know for a fact the world does not revolve around me.
(Sometimes it feels like it revolves around my kids though... can you relate?)
The reason I share photos of myself in outfits (and my thoughts on certain topics) is because in the past I was online searching for inspiration.
I was looking for women like me.
Women who looked like me and I could relate to.
I wanted to see more outfits on more women over 40!
With less-than-model proportioned bodies and faces.
There weren't enough images out there so instead of getting frustrated, I decided to be part of the solution.
I decided to share MY style.
Just in case there was another woman out there looking for inspiration from another average looking woman...
Just like me.
I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with full-on consumerism.
I'm on a mission not to buy anything unless it is replacing something worn-out.
The need to have NEW all of the time really upsets me.
I don't want to be constantly buying buying buying.
It's sickening.
Online style inspiration is a great way to reuse and re-wear pieces you already have.
The more women online, sharing their looks, the better as far as I'm concerned!
It turns out that my passive-aggressive insulting bag-lady (ahem...she made bags!) taught me a lesson.
(Every day is a school day so they say.)
- I didn't think I could be offended but it turns out that I CAN. The best part? I quite liked it. I enjoyed the feeling. How strange is that?!
Why do you blog?
Would you consider starting a blog to share your passion and personal style?
Do you think fashion bloggers are up themselves and probably all narcissists?
What about being judged or offended?
Has anyone ever surprised you with a judgemental or nasty comment?
Let me know your opinion on this.
I'd love to hear it!